Former Hogwarts Headmaster Indicted For Showing Students His “Wand”

Ministry of Magic— Shocking events at Howart’s School of Witchcraft and Wizardry have recently come to light, as multiple claims of improper student/professor relationships are exposed. Former Headmaster Severus Snape has been brought up on charges of seducing students at this prestigious academy. Many say that he used a lighter form of the “Imperius” Curse to have his way with those who caught his fancy. Snape’s portrait vehemently denies these allegations.

For legal reasons, the names of students involved in this case can not be revealed. I can tell you that many who have come forward are well known in wizarding society. According to one young lady “He was an imposing figure, whom I greatly admired. I would have done anything to gain his approval. I was both frightened and excited of his personality.” Others had less glowing revues of the former headmaster. Many maintain that he used such charms as “Barry Whitus” and “Girl Excitus” to force his will upon the unsuspecting students.

“It”s difficult at best to prosecute this case.” Says lead prosecutor Finneas Lawliet.  “All we have left of him is the psychic imprint on his portrait at the school.” According to the Aurors who removed the painting, Snape was “Less than forthcoming about the allegations.” Throughout his interrogation, he was “very unpleasant” and continued to protest his innocence, even when presented with damning evidence.

Rumors of such goings on had long been circulated but no action was taken until several girls reclaimed repressed memories while taking a hypnosis course given by Dr. Barbara Bagby, also a former student at Hogwart’s. Dr. Bagby had this to say: “It doesn’t surprise me in the least that such things would come to light. He always had the air of menace and something much more sinister and perverse just below the surface.”

Surprisingly, some of his greatest detractors have stepped up in his defense. “Professor Snape was many things but a sexual deviant was not one of them.” Claims the present Headmistress, Minerva McGonagall. “I don”t believe it! Not one little bit!” Says Harry Potter. Most surprisingly of all is that Hermione Granger has stepped away from her usual post at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement in order to represent the accused. “It”s rubbish! Every young witch is taught to use the “Pedofilius Reportus” charm to counter such advances. What I would like to know, is how it is that no one spoke about this until years later; with no evidence of an Obliviate spell of any type. It’s a set-up and I intend to prove it.” She says.

When asked to comment on the whole affair, the portrait of the former professor said only “Stuff it!”

Stuff it indeed!

Originally printed in the Daily Prophet Friday 26, 2010

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