Sikkim NJ— Experts are urging caution around toddlers after today”s tragic events. Muffy, a much beloved family pet, was rushed to an urgent care unit after sustaining multiple lacerations about the face and neck earlier this morning. 3 year old Petey was taken to a child pound, pending a hearing which his will determine his fate. “Unfortunately, we have seen a dramatic rise in toddler attacks over the past few years.” Says veterinarian Chuck Connine.
Eye witnesses to the incident claim that the pooch had repeatedly taunted the boy over the course of a couple of weeks. Still, no one expected the savage assault. According to the boy”s mother, Mrs. Penny Houndless: “Petey has always been such a docile child. I just can”t believe this happened!”
The issue of toddler attacks has stirred up public outcry across the nation. There will be a rally at 7pm tonight on the steps of city hall. Many have voiced concerns over the lax enforcement of child leash laws. “If folks would just keep their kids on leashes, people would feel safe to go to parks. I live in constant fear of children running loose in my neighborhood.” Says Foxxy Vulvine, a major proponent of more stringent leash laws.
Child breeder Mark Zygotian had this to say: “The odds of being bitten by a toddler are relatively low. Most are lovable and fun members of their household. It really comes down to the parents and how they rear the children. I have seen an alarming surge in inbreeding by unlicensed breeders and this often leads to many health and mental defects. It”s a shame that a few irresponsible child kennel owners have caused so much damage to a great tradition of child rearing.” He readily agrees that strict enforcement of leash laws will greatly reduce the risk of incidents like this.